The Rajah from Tipperary (the tale of how an Irish farmer ended up ruling his own kingdom in India)

There have been many great 'adventurers'. People who have through force of will or luck or the ability to bullshit really REALLY well, have carved their names into the pages of history. Little people who do extraordinary things.

One of my favourites is the illiterate Irish farmer who managed, without any support, to create for himself his own kingdom in India. Known as the "Jehazi Sahib" he briefly created a whole new state, with himself as a rajah, in the wild and dangerous era that fell upon India just before the British took over.

His story is a window into a time and place long ignored by many historians. And above all it's a hell of a tale.

(Only known portrait of George Thomas)

The tale of George Thomas... George was born into utter poverty and shiteness. He never spent a day of his life in school, never learned to read or write, and his only true skill seemed be gaining a great love/mastery of horses from his father, a humble tenant farmer.

He was born near Roscrea, County Tipperary, and lost both his parents by the age of 20. No skills, no education, no experience doing anything but manual labour- let's be honest, his prospects were pretty grim. This is the 1770's in Ireland here folks. Trust me, it's a properly fucking awful place.

We know about 1776 or so George woke up one morning, looked at the backbreaking work he had for the day and went fuck that. He was a huge chunk of a man. His whole life had been spent lifting shit, and this had made him ripped to shit. So, he travelled south to the port of Youghal, in County Cork, where he got employment as a dock worker.

But in 1779 his crap life decides to double down and get even crappier. George was drunk one evening and ended up on the wrong end of a press-gang. And NOW he was part of the Royal Navy. Where you don't enlist so much as get kidnapped and have to serve or get screwed.

Discipline was kept with brutal efficiency and the job was worse than being on the farm. George found himself a crew man on a Man o'War captained by one Admiral Hughes; this Hughes guy was taking his ship and a decent sized flotilla and were sailing to India.

For several months George survived the awful conditions onboard a Royal Navy ship, and the second he arrived at the port of Madras? He deserted. He literally jumped ship.

Here was an Irish lad whose most exotic travel destination had previously been County Cork. And now he was in Madras in 1781. The sights, sounds, smells must have seen utterly alien to him.

Would have been a huge relief for him to run into another Irish man. And not just that- a man from Tipperary called Kelly. This guy was actually running a bar there and George literally stumbled upon him and asked his fellow countryman for aid. Kelly gave him immediate shelter and then helped smuggle him out, away from the Royal Navy looking to recapture this deserter.

It was Kelly who directed George to travel south to the Mysore region of India. Here were a group of locals called the Polygars.

The Polygars were a leftover remains of previous state- feudal lords who spent a lot of their time raiding each other and other neighbours.

Rough and ready and spikey, Polygars were mostly decent folks but were endlessly fighting.

And they, like everyone in India at the time, were on the lookout for European soldiers, as these white guys had turned up over the last few decades and had shown above all things- they were brilliant at war.

India at the time was a place where mercenaries could make a fortune. George Thomas didn't speak a fucking word of the local dialect, but he was a huge lad, and he basically bullshitted his way into a position of military advisor to one of the local rulers. And it helped that he knew how to handle a horse. Very quickly he finally found something he was good at. Violence.

Over the next few years George spent his life in almost constant battle. Big fights and small fights were constant and real life combat is a great teacher. You either get good real fast. Or you die.

George got good and actually became a decent cavalry commander. After a few years doing shit like this and with a bit of a reputation?

He travelled north, and sought out Ali Khan, the Nizam of Hyderabad (left). Khan had a LARGE army- and a proper one with infantry units, artillery and a brace of European officers helping install some harsh European war discipline into the ranks.

George was hired as a cavalry commander and was now able to begin a new life, all respectable and secure.

While he served with the forces of the Nazim, learning from French and British mercenaries who treated him as a peer, George found himself sent to control a very wayward bunch of soldiers.

The Pindaris were basically mounted outlaws; as the Mughal empire fell apart, they had gone from light shock cavalry units in the Muslim armies, to little more than mobile raiders and bandits. George was given the unlikely job of trying to tame a bunch of them for Ali Khan's army.

After all the years he spent with the Polygars, he and the Pindaris got on like a house on fire. To them, he was this white skinned foreigner; huge of build; natural on horseback and utterly insane/seemingly without fear most of the time. To him? They became his 'Irish Pindaris'.

Again after a few years George gave up this contract and travelled north. But this time the Pindaris cavalrymen came with him.

They headed north towards Delhi, looking for mercenary work and in 1887 he found himself in Sandhara. And it was here he met a woman.

One HELL of a woman.

Begum Samru: the Iron Queen of Sandhara.

Right this lady needs her own entry as she is fucking ferocious. And her story is even more impressive than George's.

She was born Farzana Zeb un-Nissa, and she also came from a piss poor background, most likely born in Kashmir.

Farzana was about 13 or so when she got a job as a nautch and soon caught the eye of a 45-year-old German mercenary called Water Reinhardt Sombre.

Sombre led a large mercenary army which was in the service of fading Mughal Empire. By all accounts he was an untrustworthy swine, who swapped sides endlessly, with a reputation for cruelty.

He rather liked the look of the dancing girl and she instantly saw a chance to improve her station. And while she was a small petite wee thing (four and half feet tall barefoot), she was tough, and extremely smart. She not only beguiled him, she complimented him.

Quickly she supplied the brains to Sombre's army, and he and his European and Indian commanders quickly learned that this young woman knew what the fuck she was talking about.

While she held no rank and she wasn't even married to him, Ferzana became second in command to Sombre.

He spent years travelling around northern India, was heavily involved in the vicious internal politics of the place and she was his guide and his main advisor. He eventually became a governor of a region called Sandhara.

Nine years later Sombre died and aged only 24 or so, this pint-sized powerhouse actually managed to become commander of this large ramshackle mercenary force, gaining the respect of Indian warriors and European mercenaries alike. She took the title Begum Samru and took over running Sandhara. She was brilliant at it.

Seriously the woman was a genius. She became so rich that even today there is legal action taking place about the fortune she left behind. She was one hardcore lady.

She was aged about 40 when George turned up to take the position as head of her artillery. She had a thing for European men and she obviously still had it... as she and George quickly became an item.

She was self-created as he was; she was catholic (she had converted a few years earlier- making her one of only two Catholic rulers in Indian history) and he was a huge slab of Irish adventurer.

George had become quite fluent in Hindustani by now, and she taught him Persian as well (oddly enough while he never learned to read and write English, he did learn to read/write those two languages) and they became quite the team. They were not a 'sit around and be pretty' type couple.

This was a union based upon their self discovered an affinity for war. She had an army and together they led it into the field several times to defend the Shah. While mercenaries, they served the Mughal Empire with honour and their forces made a real difference as the empire faced endless rebellions.

Indeed at the siege of Gokalgarh, the Begum Somru led her mercenary forces into the battle personally and at a crucial moment when the Shah seemed on the verge of capture,

George led a desperate cavalry charge; he and his Pindaris plunged into the thick of the fighting, rescuing the Mogul Shah personally and turning the battle.

You did not fuck with this couple. Across India word soon spread that the army of the Begum Somru was arguably the best fighting force out there after the East India Company's and their prestige grew.

These were the good times. And they came to a swift end.

The Begum grew bored of George and kicked him out of her bed and company, replacing him with a Frenchman named Levassoult.

Even though he was now her general in charge of all her forces, she wanted him gone. George took employment with a guy called Appa Khandi Rao (the Mahratta governor of Meerut).

This guy was basically a little shit, motivated by greed and more venal needs. George drilled his forces and lead them into battle after battle as Rao subjugated the nearby Rajputs.

After a string of victories George was granted a noble rank (jagir) for his services. Meanwhile his ex the Begum Samra found her new lover had begun alienating many of the army and the good folks of Sandhara, to the point where she was replaced by a guy named Zafar-yab-Khan.

George was away serving Rao at the time, and only got word of the situation when his ex-lover sent him a desperate appeal. Levassolut was dead and she was being kept tied to a wagon wheel under armed guard.